Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
Identifying and understanding self-sabotaging behavioral patterns.
Are you fed up of feeling like you are swimming around in the same goldfish-bowl without ever really getting anywhere?
Looking back at your year are you feeling frustrated about your lack of progress within your career?
It may surprise you to learn that in many cases you are your own worst enemy when it comes to achieving your career goals. A high proportion of professionals make career orientated ‘resolutions’ at the start of each New Year, which may be in the form of goals or an overarching development strategy. Yet by March many of these goals and plans will be forgotten or pushed aside, as the day-to-day grind of working life takes over.
It is easy at the end of the year to blame any lack of results on your employer, ‘the market’ or any other number factors. The reality is that the only person who can make things happen is you.
I realize that these are some of the same issues that hold many people back in their personal and professional lives.
1. Negative Thinking
If you’re not careful you can literally think yourself into failure and depression. You can have the best life filled with a successful career, amazing family, lots of money, and all the things that the world tells you is equivalent to success, but the way you choose to perceive those things can make all the difference. You can choose to focus on what you have or what you don’t have, you can focus on solutions or problems. The quality of thoughts that dominate your mind will ultimately determine the quality of your life.
2. Self Doubt
Similar to negative thinking, self-doubt is all about your perspective. People who doubt themselves take the approach of devaluing their knowledge, their abilities, and the things that make them who they are. They focus on achieving things that are within their comfort zone and go no further than that. The biggest challenge is getting them to believe that what they have is enough to succeed. Self-doubt is one of the greatest contributors to failure. Once you doubt yourself, you can pretty much forget about anyone believing in you or anything you have to offer. It’s one of those things that are contagious. Whether you’re on the job, taking on a new personal project, or trying to talk to a person of the opposite sex for the first time, it can have a major impact on your life. Think about how many opportunities you have missed out on because you doubted yourself and didn’t believe you had what it took to succeed. What if you had felt that fear and moved forward trusting in your abilities? What would your life look like now?
3. Complacency
There are many of us holding ourselves back in life, not as a result of failure, but as a result of the success we have experienced. We finally got the career, the money, or the significant other that we always wanted. All of the success we wanted to achieve is now within our reach, so we feel as though we have no reason to maintain and keep on putting in the sacrifice, discipline, and motivation that got us to our present position. Complacency is like a disease, if you don’t monitor it or have someone who keeps an eye on it, you will slowly become a victim to it. Rarely does anyone become complacent overnight. It starts when you begin to make small compromises in your work ethic and values, leaning on your past success as a cushion. Complacency sets in when you fail to understand that success is temporary. You must remember the fact that just as you strived to get where you are, there is someone coming behind you who is doing the exact same thing. Don’t become a victim to complacency.
4. Perfection
There is nothing wrong with chasing perfection as long as it serves as a motivator. It was the chase of perfection that challenged me to never get comfortable as an athlete. No matter how good of a performance I had the week before; I was always searching for an area of improvement. For me, there was no such thing as perfection, but in my mind, by chasing it I was able to consistently maintain a championship mindset. For many others, perfection has the role of an inhibitor of action. It’s easy to make yourself believe that when it comes to accomplishing certain goals or task you must have things perfectly aligned in order to move forward. Even when this is not the truth we can become experts at using perfection as a way to cover up the fact that we are fearful. The pursuit of perfection that leads us onto the path of procrastinating on what we know we can accomplish can is a lot of times just a coping mechanism that keeps us locked into our comfort zone and paralyzes us from taking action. Instead of focusing on perfection, focus on making progress no matter how small it may be.
5. Arrogance
We all know of someone who suffers from this. They may see themselves as better than everyone or believe that their ideas are always right. How they feel about others may come through in their body language, walking with their head up and chest open, failing to acknowledge anyone they feel is not on their level. Arrogance is one of the worst because those who are arrogant usually lack self-awareness. They don’t even realize that they are holding themselves back. People who would want to work with them, offer them ideas, or connect them with someone who could take them to the next level are turned off once they realize that the individual believes they know it all. If you are arrogant and choose to look down on someone, just remember that the same people you look down on will a lot of times be the ones you need in the future. Having humility, being coachable, and knowing when to ask for help is crucial. One thing I have learned is that if you don’t humble yourself, life will certainly humble you.